Unarchiving: Amnesia & Innocence
"I trust my initial hit"
I take myself on walks, some phases of my life more frequent than others.
I try to travel as light as possible depending on the weather.
I ground my energy as I walk. The point is to relax and release anxiety and activating thoughts. I open to the sky, to trees, to space, to sunlight. I say hello to the world around me. I go where there is the “outside…as a break from being inside and in “inside-mode”.
My Dantien is my center…the pelvis, abs, butt, top of the legs, torso…perhaps between the pelvic floor and the diaphragm. My belly and perhaps more the lower belly as if I was pregnant. I can put my hands here…maybe the right, maybe the left.
Usually the right hand is concrete and practical and logistical, and the left hand is more intuitive and receptive to tuning the energies and my body’s streaming of energies.
As I approach a corner of a city block, I feel my Dantien and ask: “which way?”
I get an initial hit. I feel something. I think I can register a clear answer, but the moment happens so fast that the following thoughts can easily muddy the initial thought. The later thoughts can flip flop an initial feeling I got. Was the feeling clear? Did my Dantien really say that way or this way? Or did it say something else like “wait” or “it doesn’t matter here”?
It’s best if my walks are directionless in general. I’m more free to travel and to explore. The universe seems to take me on small adventures…always revealing something to me through thoughts or by showing me something significant in it’s small yet special way. I discovered the little gardens in the ugly block-shaped housing near me. I tuned into a song that was in my head and realized it related to a feeling I had about someone. I bumped into a friend of a friend with whom I had something to say or consider.
My initial hit takes me places, but not in my step-by-step scheduling and planning. It’s another time and space and logic to follow. I try to do this when teaching…it’s scary and exhilarating and not secure, but always seems to feel good afterwards.
Funded by the Federal Government Commissioner for Culture and Media within the framework of the initiative NEUSTART KULTUR, aid programm DIS-TANZEN by the Dachverband Tanz Deutschland